Is Misalignment Costing You? Lessons On Balanceing Ambition and Relationships

Transcript

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Hello my friends, I am so glad to be here with you today.

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I hope this podcast episode finds you in great spirits, with a big old smile on your face and the warmth and joy of knowing that you are absolutely incredible and you were created to do amazing things.

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Yes, you were.

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Hi, I am Ty Wonder.

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I'm your host of Tea Talk with Ty and I wanted to chat with you a little bit about people and gold digging.

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That's going to be a good one.

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It's not going to be a long time, but it's going to be a good time.

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Are you a gold digger, not gold Goal?

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G-o-a-l?

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You know someone that has big goals, aspirations, dreams and things they're trying to accomplish.

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I thought so.

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Keep listening.

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Welcome to Tea Talk with Ty.

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I am your host, ty Wonder, empowerment guru, holistic health trainer and entrepreneur, and my goal is to help teach you how you can make the ebbs and flows of life work for you and not against you, so you can make all of those goals a reality.

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Grab some tea, some water, whatever you want to sip on, and let's have some real tea talk.

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Hello my friends.

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Oh man, it feels so good to be back.

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I know it's been a minute since I've had a Tea Talk with Ty episode and honestly, I recorded a few, but either life was life and our technology was not technology keen.

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That is not a word, but I just made it up and it sounded great.

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It's been one of the two.

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I was finishing up my degree last year so something had to.

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I realized last year very early in the year, fortunately that although I love Wonder Woman and you will never see Wonder Woman in the same room as me because I am her and she is me in the same room as me because I am her and she is me I do not have the superhuman strength of having more than 24 hours in a day and I had a choice to make of okay, well, I've got to, I've got things that I've got to do, and then I want to graduate with honors and I still have to keep my business afloat.

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Can I also do all these podcasts?

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Absolutely not.

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So unfortunately it wasn't personal.

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It really made me sad.

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It really did.

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It made me very, very sad.

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But one of the hardest things about being a gold digger is learning your limits and realizing that you can have it all and you can do it all, but sometimes it's not all at the same time.

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You know I was working full-time, going to school full-time, running a business solo full-time.

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Technically, two businesses, a single mom full-time and my kid is on the go all the time between musical theater and drums, and it was a lot.

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It was a lot, and especially with Tea Talk with Ty, it was a little bit harder to come back with content because it was like I just want to cry and say this is hard right now.

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2023 was a rough year, man.

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It was a rough year.

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It was so much going on.

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It was a lot of residual from 2022 that you know I was still trying to get through with having a few personal and professional heartbreaks and you know that took a minute for me to really get over.

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And then the thing about life, the universe, god, however you want to put it, if it, if it him, however you want to refer to, god, the universe.

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You know, y'all know I love God over here, so I felt like God was trying to make sure I learned the right lessons, so it brought the same lessons back to me in 2023.

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Um, so, to save things that brought me to tears in 2022, like almost those same situations came back in 2023, and I'll never forget sitting outside in the moon, under the moon, in my backyard, just kind of like, okay, taisha, what is this teaching you?

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What did you learn?

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And, man, if, if I had not gone through those lessons in 2022, I will say what happened to me in 2023 would have made me a very bitter person, Um, but uh, thank God for deliverance, things are different now in every aspect of 2023.

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I had a new job that I really really love, for a fortune.

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They're in the Fortune 50.

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We're in the 30s, and so there's a whole teachable lesson I want to talk about with that on another day.

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But I had a new job.

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I have removed a lot of individuals in my life that were just hangers on, and that's what I want to talk about today.

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I want to talk about the people in your life and how they truly affect your goal digging.

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Now, the thing is, you're always going to have somebody in your life, whether it's a family member, a parent, a child, a significant other.

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Somebody is going to be there, hopefully, right, you don't live completely alone, alone unless you live on the stranded island.

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Anytime there's a chance for people to be around.

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There's a chance for the wrong people to be around, and this is what I've learned the hard way in business, which is mostly what I want to focus on on this episode.

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And I'm going to start by saying this and I mean this with my whole entire chest and I hope you hear it and take it into your heart Misalignment with people can cause you your business, your sanity and your reputation.

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I'm going to say that again and I really said that off the dome, so let's hope I remember exactly what I just said Misalignment, misalignment with people, can cause you to have issues with your business, business, business, your sanity and your reputation.

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Let's talk about it.

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Sanity and your reputation let's talk about it.

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So I had a friend that I was.

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Really I thought we were aligned in one of one areas of one of my business and I really I loved her enthusiasm about the business and I was like, okay, well, here we go, here's my person, here's my ride or die, my right arm for this particular part of the business.

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So I can get her to do certain things and I can run off the other way, like not the other way, but I could focus on other things and let her do this thing that she's really passionate about and she's.

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You know we'll get there.

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Like at least my whole brain isn't stuck on this one piece of the business.

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And every time I asked her to do something for me, it never got done.

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Every time I asked her to look into something for me, it never got done.

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Every time I asked her to look into something for me, it never got done.

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When I needed her to show up, to be there for moral support behind the scenes and all of these other things for a very big day of the business, she wasn't there.

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Things for a very big day of the business she wasn't there.

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Now I'm not saying that things didn't happen where maybe life was life and too hard because, hey, I get it, I totally get it.

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But what that taught me was I'm misaligned, because everyone that knows me knows exactly what I'm passionate about.

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If you know me on a personal level, you know exactly what I'm passionate about.

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You know how hard that I ride myself to get these goals and dreams done, and you also know that I don't do things for me.

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I do it to better other people, to better their lives, to elevate them, to empower them.

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Everything I do in my work professionally has been really to uplift people.

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That's where my heart is.

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It made me think like, of course, no one is going to treat your baby like you.

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Okay, no one's going to take your business and treat it better than you would Like.

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You might find a rare person here or there, but it goes without saying that you know it's just like your children.

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There's very few people that you can depend on to take care of your child better than you would.

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Same thing Not saying it's not possible, but it's not common In all of that.

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When I really was able to take a step back, I realized this looked good and it felt good for her to be in that spot, but we were misaligned because she would have never been able to help me get the business where I wanted it to go, because that's not really where her focus was, and that's totally fine, by the way.

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I don't blame her.

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I blame me, because you got to remember, at the end of the day, when it's our dreams and our goals, we're the only one responsible for making that happen.

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Misaligning myself with this former friend of mine did not help me flourish my business for it to be where I wanted it to be by this time.

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Imagine if I hadn't learned that lesson in 2022 and I continued with that friendship and that level of expectation that would have never happened.

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That would have never happened.

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Okay, within that same business the year prior, I had also a former friend who, when I mentioned expanding the business, I was told well, it's still a baby, let it crawl.

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But part of intuition is knowing that open season won't always happen that way and I had a feeling at some point I always maybe it's because I'm a planner and a thinker and always try to think three steps ahead.

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There's always a chance that an opportunity might end, and when the opportunity ends, that doesn't mean everything else should end, because that wasn't the goal.

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So when I asked the question of, well, you know, or posed a thought of, I want to figure out where the next step is in the next elevation was, and getting the jarring response of, oh, it's a baby, let it crawl.

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I realized that then I didn't articulate it and I still stayed longer than I needed to, but I realized that we were misaligned because, here again, anyone that's truly aligned with you wants to help you propel.

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They don't want to do anything to keep you back.

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Propel.

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They don't want to do anything to keep you back that misalignment.

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If I had not pushed, if I had pushed then in 2022 and really grown that particular business the way I wanted to in 2022, we would have been so much further along two years later.

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So you have to be careful about the people that you align yourself with, especially when it comes to your business and your dreams and your goals.

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At the end of the day, if anyone isn't trying to help you figure out how to elevate, they're going to hold you down at the end of the day, and that's the reality of the situation.

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They're just going to hold you down.

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They're hangers on Misalignment with friendships.

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Let's talk about misalignment with relationships, because if you're listening to this show, you have dreams and goals that you're trying to accomplish and we have to remember that the partners that we choose can help us elevate or stay exactly where we are.

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Sometimes they can bring us down.

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Of course, on this show, I try to be very of course.

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On this show, I try to be very transparent with you guys, and it's my life and I unfortunately, more than a few times have had situations where I had partnerships or relationships that were not conducive towards my goals.

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I had a A relationship where I could say with this one I've had both ends of the spectrum.

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I've had a great relationship that we complemented each other on our goals and we worked together to try to get things to make sense and to happen.

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And then I've had those that came along and it was all about them.

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And then I've had those that came along and it was all about them.

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In a recent situationship I'll call it I was aligned with an individual who his focus was on him, and what I didn't realize fast enough is he came in, he saw the dream, he saw the visionary in me that I didn't quite see and it was like, oh, I can use this to get me to where I'm trying to go, and that's where the focus went.

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I spent more time thankfully, this was a brief situation but during that time I spent more time elevating his dreams and goals and giving and pouring and all of those things into him than I did my own.

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And again, imagine if I didn't learn those lessons of 2022.

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I was able to really just let the situation go and realize hey, ty, we're not aligned, because a partner that is truly aligned with you, they know your goals, they know your dreams, they understand your vision, they understand your passion.

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They can match your grind.

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The least that they're going to do is empower you to put time into your own baby, whatever that is, and someone that's discouraging you to spend time doing something towards that goal or dream of yours is not in alignment with you.

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My friend, please don't learn that the hard way, because you can wake up.

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Thankfully this didn't happen to me, but you could wake up and 15, 20, 30 years went by and you didn't get that thing accomplished.

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But your partner or significant other is fine and they're happy because they got what they wanted.

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But in the back of your mind you're always thinking I should have, could have, would have.

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That makes you bitter and it doesn't help you gold dig.

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Lastly, I want to give an example of alignment when it comes to other businesses and people around you.

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I have been very fortunate to be around some amazing fellow business owners and empowerment speakers.

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Two of my clients right now are both authors and they've written self-help books.

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You can check them out Shameless Plug, the Relationship of Me by Susan Weatherspoon El-Amin, as well as 44 Life Lessons of Hurt, love and Triumph by Anissa Marie Baz.

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Both of them have written books which were created to empower uh, mostly women, but everybody and um, here at Tachi Productions we have been working on their audio book, which is super exciting.

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I think that business taught me a valuable lesson.

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I'll actually even go back and give my last job the nonprofit I worked for this credit where I realized that truly, where your alignment sits can make or break you sometimes carefully at the type of businesses and other nonprofits that the nonprofit I worked for align themselves with and they align themselves with people who were known for impactful work in the community and if they thought they were just talking and just fluff and just here for the ride and just trying to look good, they left that right alone.

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I realized that being able to pitch my business to other businesses, the fact that I can say I have other small business owners that are repeat clients, that are in the empowerment space I wouldn't say it's a flex, but it's definitely says that I'm aligned with what my goals and heart is and I always told people that every bit of Tai Chi productions, every bit of the music experience, my other business, is parts of my absolute heart.

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I made it a goal to entertain, educate and inspire and that's what I do between those three and if it doesn't do it, I don't do it.

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And what I've realized is that I attract naturally the type of businesses that have a heart for people.

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I have clients that are nurses, that are in the empowerment space, that are into holistic health.

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Those are the type of repeat clients that we typically have here in my main business and it shows me that I'm in alignment with what my actual goals and dreams are, with what my actual goals and dreams are.

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And I've learned the hard way that when you just do things just because you're trying to keep your business afloat and there's things that you really don't care about or there's things that you're not really passionate about, it doesn't help you at the end of the day, get you to where you're trying to go, and then you don't trust yourself and then you feel unseen.

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So misaligning yourself with the wrong businesses or people can cause you a little bit of issues with your sanity there if you're not careful to be around the same company that you desire to be.

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I am always desiring to be a woman of empowerment.

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That is how I want people to remember me, that I always empowered people.

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That's very important to me.

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So why would I want to be aligned with a company that always kind of has a disempowering tagline, or people that were more known of being, you know, the negative Nancys.

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How is that in alignment with what I'm actually trying to do in my business and my goals and my dreams?

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I'm hustling backwards, as the old folks say.

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I hope that makes sense.

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I hope that you take something away that it makes you.

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I hope that you're able to take this episode and think about those really close relationships in your life right now and ask yourself the people that you're closest, to ask them are they aligned or are they misaligned?

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Now, sometimes I'm going to say this little caveat and then I'm going to go.

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Sometimes they can be misaligned, but they just need to be put in a different place.

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So instead of a business bestie, it might just need to be your brunch friend, and that's totally fine.

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And downgrading relationships is very important to being able to sustain.

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Redefining and reorganizing relationships are important to sustain them all, because we as people sometimes put unrealistic expectations on people that they don't want.

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Maybe they don't want to be the business bestie and that's why they're misaligned.

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Maybe that's the problem.

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Maybe that's not where their heart is and they don't want to do it and that's why they're not doing it and that's the problem.

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So I hope you're able to take this episode and evaluate those friendships and relationships in your life right now and ask yourself are they aligned?

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Are they misaligned?

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Do I need to move them?

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Because maybe that's it.

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It's not always about throwing people away.

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You shouldn't throw people away.

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That's rude, but everyone needs to be in their proper place to be able to move effectively and efficiently.

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You enjoyed this episode of Tea Talk with Ty.

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I am your host, miss Ty Wonder.

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It has been an honor and a pleasure to chat with you.

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I hope I gave you some real tea talk and until next time, be well, be blessed.

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Thank you for listening.

Is Misalignment Costing You? Lessons On Balanceing Ambition and Relationships

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