The Secret to Forming a Competent, Supportive Team..Because That's Not It Friend!

How many times have you heard, as an entrepreneur or as a person with all of these big goals, that you've got to build your team and they ask you who's your team? and you feel like you're not as important because you don't have the team that everybody talks about. Or maybe you have a team but you don't feel like your team is effective. Well, let me tell you, friend, you're probably building your team all wrong, speaking from experience. You're doing it wrong, but let's talk about getting it right. I am Ty Wonder, your host at Tea Talk with Ty. Grab some tea or some water, whatever you want to sip on, and let's chat. Are you a gold digger? Not gold Gold G-O-A-L. You know someone that has big goals, aspirations, dreams and things they're trying to accomplish. I thought so. Keep listening. Welcome to T-Talk with Ty. I am your host, ty Wunder, empowerment guru, holistic health trainer and entrepreneur, and my goal is to help teach you how you can make the ebbs and flows of life work for you and not against you, so you can make all of those goals a reality. Grab some tea, some water, whatever you want to sip on, and let's have some real T-Talk. Hello, my friends, welcome to this episode of T-Talk with Ty. I am your host, ms Ty Wunder. I hope this episode finds you with a great big smile on your face, a heart full of joy and hope and promise, and if it doesn't, it's okay. I want you to take a deep breath with me. You ready? Let's do it together. Release it. I shake that ish off, shake it off, shake it off. All right, i feel a little bit better, i do. All right, so let's get into it. We were talking about having a team, and you hear so many times people say, oh, you got to have a team, you got to have a team, you got to have a team, you got to have a team. And I agree with them. You absolutely have to have a team. But do you know how to build a team the right way? Okay, so I'm going to step on some toes with this one, but you know me, i don't step on anyone's toes harder than I step on my own, so you know there's going to be a teachable moment in there. So let's talk about building teams. 2022, if you've been listening to the show for a while, you know in 2022, it was a lot of growth happening for me personally and professionally, and I thought I had a solid team, because my solid team consisted of loved ones, and then all of that fell off And then I was like, oh crap, what do I do now, cause my team gone. Like I don't have a team now, so what do I do? And so then I started relying on on new friends, right, and it kind of worked. It helped some, but in the grand scheme of things, when I look at everything broadly, there was a lot of times where I had asked a friend or two to do XYZ and it fell through to the wayside. So it didn't feel like a true team. But in my mind at this time I was like this is this, is this is my team, it's this person and this person and this person. And they kept letting me down And I was like, well, what am I doing wrong? I don't get it, but let's just go into hermit mode for a second and figure it out. So I'm not saying this right and I'm not saying this wrong. But again, you know I'm very real on the show and I I give my life just as I live it. But I literally took a moment, step back from kind of everybody except for my kid and reevaluated what I was looking for in these teammates, you know, and I realized that it was always people that I loved, that I expected to be on my team. And I think, as entrepreneurs, you you expect that right. You expect your partner to be on your team and your biggest cheerleader, you expect your best friend to help you down to you know, setting up boots with you or whatever it is that you have to do and being your biggest cheerleader, like you expect that right. That happens. But the reality is that sometimes people can only play one role in your life at a time And it may be too much for them to be that person to you that sister, that friend, that brother, that husband, that boyfriend, that wife, that girlfriend. That might be all the capacity that they have And you know what. That's okay, but it made me realize that that was my level of expectation And I was setting myself up for failure because I was building my team all wrong. Now let's talk about why I realized it was finally wrong. I went into hermit mode. I did some reevaluation And I remembered a conversation that my brother and I had earlier this year Actually, it was late last year My brother Booker, who's a co-host with me for Lemihalachi. We have a lot of really in-depth conversations, which is why we started the podcast. We felt like we had these amazing conversations that nobody has And they're so special because they're platonic conversations between a man and a woman that have very different walks of life, very different viewpoints, but understand how they tie in together. Right, and I was binge watching Insecure so that I could watch the finale And I just kind of went to watch all of it in one spot because I'm a huge Issa Rae fan. Right, once I discovered who she was oh my God, huge fan. Right, and I saw myself in Insecure and Issa Rae being the quirky black girl, kind of moved to be her own drum and kind of like low-key talking to herself and rapping random stuff. If you've been around me long enough personally, no, i am a goofball. So Insecure was a way that I really saw myself. So seeing the season finale or the series finale, it made me very emotional and I couldn't figure out why. So I'm having this conversation with Booker and I'm like yo, like it's over, and I don't understand why it's making me so emotional, like you know, but I'm so proud of her, like I'm proud of Issa Rae, like I know her, you know, and I'd be cheering on when she, you know, when she's signing deals and making moves. And you know, i was just so awestruck and I couldn't really articulate everything. And he said, yo, sis, you and Issa, you put everything together. And I was like no, not me, you know. And he was just like you know it's, you're an Issa, that's why it's hitting you, it's resonating with you, because this is where you're supposed to be. You know, get to it Now. I kind of pushed them off a little bit, but I was going through a lot at the time. But that conversation stuck with me Fast forward to a few weeks ago was watching the Wu Tang series, because I just I forgot that it was a series, a show, and I was at my brother's house. I couldn't figure out how to work his day on TV and who lose. The only thing I could get working in Wu Tang Pop-Tip. And I was like I'm a watch it right. But I'm one of those people that, like I know that all of the this is all of the show, so I want to watch it all at one time. So I binge watched this show within like two weeks, watching the whole. I think it's three seasons right Now. Booker is a huge Wu Tang fan, right. So I can't believe I'm telling the story on here. So I'm watching the show and I'm sitting outside, because sometimes I just sit outside with my iPad and watch stuff And I was like watching the reactions of everybody with toward the end of the series and how you know everything it went for for Wu Tang and I, honestly, have always been obsessed with the RZA. Now, this says a lot about my profession that there's certain people, certain entertainers for very specific reasons I've been obsessed with. Issa Rae is one, because I love her creative mind and she understands the creative and the business side and she's phenomenal at it. I love her. Now the RZA I've been obsessed with since Kill Bill. Okay, huge music nerd, if you know who Terrence Blanchard is, you're my people because you already know where this is about to go, but if you don't, just follow me. So I watched Kill Bill for the first time as a young marine. I was 20 years old and I went on this date that I really didn't want to go on, but I was like out. You know I'm bored, i want to get out the house and you know, trying to learn how to date, and so I go to this date. He picked the movie. That's why I want to go on this date. He falls asleep and I'm like he fell asleep at the how are you falling asleep in the movies? on the date, like that's so rude. But I was intrigued. You know wasn't into martial arts movies or anything, but I was intrigued, so I finished watching it. Now, what struck me especially at this time I was a professional musician was how perfect the music went with the movie right, and I already knew that Quinn Tarantino was a genius, and I'm like, whoever did this music, he's a genius, and you know this is before the internet was really a huge thing. So it was like it was the Rizzo, and I was like, oh, there is a Wu-Tang, okay, alright. And after that, though, i got obsessed with his level of genius, because you know, he had to put all of the music together and all the things in the right spot, and it was just. It was a chef's kiss, you know, as the young ones say. So one of the things that I paid attention to watching the show, like I mean, let's be honest, i'm a black woman, i love Method Man, so there's that. But I was really looking to see what the Rizzo did and what his, how he made his moves with certain things. I was looking at the way that he created the whole entire show and how he put the group together so seamlessly and put all the pieces of the puzzle together. And they kept saying you know, "yo Riz, you the Abbot, you the Abbot, you the Abbot. And it dawned on me that my dear friend Booker was telling me that I was the Abbot and it was like, oh crap, okay, all right, i'm the one that puts the pieces of the puzzle together, got it okay. So at this time, i now realize that I've been putting my team together all wrong, because I think about how many people I've had on my team prior to that and no one had guided me the direction that I needed to get to that point to say, oh shoot, i'm doing this all wrong. So, with that being said, i want to give you a few tips of how you know to build your team the right way. The first thing you want to think about with building your team is check their intentions, because when you are a gold digger and you have big dreams, they're going to be people that want to be around you, but their intentions may or may not be pure. It could be that they just want to be there because they're riding the wave and whatever you got going on makes them look good. Those are not the right people on your team. You could have people that their intentions in Trying to be on your team is for the other reasons that I won't really discuss on the show, but if you are an adult, you understand exactly what I'm saying. Those are not the right people on your team because their intentions are wrong. You need people with intentions that are very similar to yours. They understand what your vision is. They understand your mission. They understand how important those things are to you, because anyone that understands what's important to you, they're gonna operate your baby as such. If I told my parents don't give my kid McDonald's and they don't understand why that's important to me, they're gonna give my kid McDonald's. Right, it's the same thing. So check your intentions with who's trying to be on your team. Okay, look what that means. It also look around and see who they're around, because there's a saying and it's a good saying for a reason that birds of a feather flock together if they're around a lot of people that You necessarily Don't jive with. That's a red flag that they're not gonna be on the save wavelength as you when you need them to be there for you as a teammate. So check their intentions, check to see who they're around, and you also have to make sure that you have strong boundaries. Oh, my god, i've learned this lesson so hard this year Is that when you have big dreams and big goals and a big heart to boot, you have to have very strong boundaries. And No is a full sentence and it does not require an explanation. You cannot be a gold digger without boundaries. It's a hard one for a lot of us, especially some of us with bleeding hearts, but until you learn that, you'll be miserable every day of your life. Ask me how. I know Lessons still learning in process, but we're getting there. My last one, my last one, and it's a very important one, probably the most important one about building your team the right way. You cannot build a team mate with potential if You are Single or still dating. You hear people say don't fall in love with potential. Right, you have to date someone, love someone, right, where they are, if everything, if nothing changed about them in three years from now. Would you be okay with that? Basically, is what that same right? so not just on the potential of what a person could do, but you Move the relationship alone, based on what the facts of the reality is and not the potential. Great. So you get these teammates and you think, oh, you know they're talented or They could do this, or they're really good at that, so that could potentially. No, that's already the wrong direction. Don't bring someone on your team just because they have potential. Either they have it or they don't. Either they have a passion or they don't. Either they have the vision or they don't not. They potentially have your vision. No, you're gonna waste time and energy and you're gonna be upset. Ask me how I know. So we don't do potential anymore. Potential is no. We only think about Potential. I don't know. I don't even know what we could potentially think about, but we don't use that word anymore, especially when it comes to building the team. So I hope this episode Resonated with you. I hope it helps you think about who's around you and who's around you the most Especially as your goal Dean. So protect those boundaries. Don't fall in love with potential And make sure you use your voice. That's important. Well, i hope this episode resonated so hard and you have an amazing rest of your day and until next time, be well and be blessed.